Hatred VS Forgiveness

Hatred VS Forgiveness. It is so easy to accept the path of hatred, it seems to be the easiest, but is it? I often question that myself. Hatred can bring you to a very dark place and make you say and do such wrong things. I guess it’s all a part of the grieving process, I wish it wasn’t because hatred causes so much pain and hurt. The more hatred you have the more pain and hurt you spread. Whether it’s from having an illness, like cancer, or from hating the actions of other people or yourself. Sometimes it’s best if you step back from a situation and try to understand what makes you or another person so angry to create hatred and think of ways within yourself to find forgiveness. 

I am guilty of hatred, as I would assume that so many others are as well. Hatred makes a very evil side of you come out. When I went through cancer, hatred came out in me in so many ways, some of the hatred stayed. I hated cancer, I hated my doctors for finding it, I hated my parents for giving me bad genes (which they didn’t), I hated anyone who showed sympathy and I hated people who were not there for me. I am trying to deal with this head on to replace the hatred with forgiveness. I don’t beleive it’s hatred I feel, it’s anger which I have internalized as hatred. In some cases it may just be an internal forgiveness, but I feel like I am setting the anger and hatred free. Setting it free makes me feel like I have less of a burden on myself, I feel lighter and it definitely helps and produces many better days for both me and my kids. 

I had so much hatred during my divorce and that hatred consumed me. It consumed me and I felt everything spun out of control. I have been trying for a long time to turn that hatred into forgiveness. I may never forget what the boys and I went through, but forgiveness needs to start somewhere for the healing to begin. With my PTSD and Anxiety it’s so easy to think about the things that were said and done, all the lies that were told about me and probably still are being told. I feel that I need to be the bigger person and let that unwanted hatred and anger go and let the forgiveness begin.

When you forgive, and let the hatred go, I beleive life will start to be easier and I will be much happier. There are so many situations that are out of our control, why should we let them consume us? We should be in control with the way we react, our response controls the feeling of hatred, we have to try and understand the situation we are in and how we can turn it into a positive situation or at least find the good because beleive it or not, there is always some good to find in every situation. I have to start sticking up for myself and believing in myself because nobody else can do that for me, only me. I have to realize that people have their own interest at heart not mine. So, I will forgive and do what’s best for me even if other people think it’s wrong. This is my life I’m living and it’s not for other people to judge or dictate how I live it. We as humans need to learn how to worry less about talking about other people behind their backs and more on how to create happiness in our own life.

I beleive I am a people pleaser, but I’ve realized that I can’t please everyone. If I try to please one of the children another will be angry with me. If I try to please people that are in my life, they are only going to criticize me at every angle no matter what I do or say, so I might as well do what’s best for me and my children, let the anger go that comes with the backlash and forgive the ignorance. Nobody is going to save me from what life is going to throw at me, I have to save myself. We as individuals are not entitled, we have to do what’s right and what’s best for ourselves. We have to let go of the hatred we feel and let the forgiveness begin, so we can start to live a happier and fuller life. We live one life, why live it with hatred and resentment when we can live a full healthy and happy life with lots and lots of forgiveness. 

If there’s one thing I would have you take from me today, it would be to forgive. Please, today take the time to forgive someone, feel for yourself how it will impact your life today and for many more days to come.

Let the hatred go💞



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